Nate Ryder: NBCUniversal's Cookie Policy: Are They Serious Right Now?
Okay, NBCUniversal, let's talk about your cookie policy. Or, more accurately, let’s dissect this steaming pile of corporate jargon you're trying to pass off as transparency.
The Cookie Monster's Buffet
Seriously, reading this thing is like trying to decipher ancient Sumerian. "HTTP cookies, HTML5 and Flash local storage/flash cookies, web beacons/GIFs, embedded scripts, ETags/cache browsers, and software development kits." Give me a break. Are they expecting the average person to understand this alphabet soup? I mean, come on!
They say it's to "improve the content and user experience." Right. It's about tracking every damn thing you do online so they can sell you more crap you don't need.
"Strictly Necessary" My Ass
And then there's the "Strictly Necessary Cookies" section. "These Cookies are required for Service functionality…" Oh really? So, if I block these cookies, the whole site just explodes? I highly doubt it. Sounds more like "strictly necessary for us to collect your data" if you ask me.
The level of detail they go into explaining this stuff is insulting. Like we're all a bunch of morons who can't figure out how to clear our browser history. And the constant reminders that "third parties" are also involved? Yeah, because spreading the blame makes it all better.
But wait, are we really supposed to believe that disabling cookies won't disable analytics? What the hell is the point of even having the option then?
The Illusion of Choice
Oh, and the "Cookie Management" section? Don't even get me started. It's a labyrinth of links and opt-out options, designed to confuse and frustrate you into just giving up and accepting their data-grabbing ways. It's like they're daring you to actually try and protect your privacy.
And the best part? Even after you opt out, "you will still see advertisements, but they may not be as relevant to you." So, basically, you're still getting bombarded with ads, just slightly less targeted ones. Thanks for nothing, NBCUniversal.
I was trying to watch something on Peacock last night. The buffering was so bad I thought I was back in 2003 using dial-up. The worst part? I'm paying for this "premium" experience. Maybe they should focus on fixing their damn streaming service instead of obsessing over my browsing habits.
